Lessons in Death

I have been honored to serve on my church council now for almost four years. Along with the role of giving leadership to decisions our church has to make, the council gets the honor of also serving the church. What that means is ushering during services, collecting money, even vacuuming after services when the cleaning crew is not available. In a sense, you lead by serving and there is a profound lesson in vacuuming at 11pm on Holy Friday so that the church will look good on Easter Saturday that gives you a great sense of humility. But of all the lessons I have learned serving my church, the best of these lessons have come to me when I have served on duty for funerals. It is a honored experience to help someone who has just lost a treasured loved one even when you don't know them. Over the years, I would say I have attended a number of funerals in which I knew very few of the family. Despite my distance from the family, each was always a moving experience for me. Each taught me the lesson of serving others I don't know. Most recently I watched a small funeral take place at the same time as people were voting in another part of the church.

Now.. I am all for ensuring everyone rights to vote, but I found it quite interesting how individuals who were campaigning were somewhat surprised when I asked them politely to avoid approaching anyone who looked like they were attending the funeral. Inside, the director of the voting process also kept worrying me about making sure the funeral didn't interfere with people trying to vote (I purposely closed doors as the beginning and end when there is a procession with the deceased.. he was nice..but still worried too much about voters and not the family). Now I am old enough to remember when we use to pull over to the side of the road, stop and say a prayer when a funeral procession drove by.. but times have changed. Recently I even saw individuals passing a funeral procession. The lesson in this post is a simple one..

We need to be there for people, even strangers if we hope to be authentic leaders. Leadership is more than decisions and being in charge... it is about serving others even in death. Some three years ago I was asked to be a pall bearer. The gentleman who died had lots of family, but through the years while I was on duty, I had helped him overcome the challenges of his age and his widow wanted me to carrying him his last walk. I was very honored. But above all, I realized that it is at those moments of sadness that people need service most.. To this day she is a special person in my life even though we have never had lunch, never took a walk, or even spent more than a minute or two speaking after church. She remembers my gift.. or really her gift to me. As for her husband, I trust he is somewhere and knows what a great honor I was given, but more important he probably knows I am a better servant today thanks to our last walk...

Does Passion Alignment Affect Trust?

I have become convinced that there is a correlation between employee passion alignment and trust. Even in teams where there is strong ethical values, competence with task, and a high degree of openness, trust can still be lacking due to passion dis-alignment.

Last week I was having a discussion with an executive I know. We were discussing employee passions and how one of her direct report's greatest passion was to be an artist. The employee, I will call him Jim, was quite talented and had actually shown his art work at several events. However, his talent did not translate into a good income stream and so Jim had decided that he would have dual careers. Painting at night and working for the company during the day. He is a good performer at the company, slightly above average. When asked during his performance review what his passion was and where he saw his future going at the company, Jim gave a standard statement.. "I am committed to becoming the best salesperson you have.." but the executive could tell.. it wasn't a passion... just a purpose to getting paid. She knew about his art and had even considered buying a piece from him. Jim had simply told her what he thought his passion should be! Jim has a passion dis-alignment. Most of his job is not really connected in any way to his passion in life. And although he won't be punished for his passion statement, my friend the executive has little trust in the idea of Jim becoming her best salesperson. This dis-alignment is a trust killer.

Now, what is really interesting, is this passion disconnection affects trust over time. The more we trust each other, the easier it is to trust at even higher levels. Likewise, even minor reductions in trust can lead to increasingly levels of distrust. Jim will sense the decline and respond in kind. Over time, trust levels will continue to decline, especially when Jim is forced to choose between his true passion (art) and his necessary passion (sales). One other concern: The trust decline also affects the team. Such a minor disconnect, but everyone will sense the shifts.

What is the implication for my friend the executive. Here was my response to her:

Have you asked him why he wants to be the best salesperson? Maybe that will help him and you to have an authentic discussion on passion. For example, maybe he believes that being the best salesperson will translate into more money to support his passion for art. That might work in the short term. but eventually passionless work is a grind. I would seek to explore why Jim has a passion about art and see if there are roles he can be more passionate about. Ultimately, you need to have a candid discussion about how Jim can build his true passion into his work. Jim might be more suited to designing sales materials, or experimental sales approaches.

Great Destroyers of Trust

I have spent the past five years putting together a model of trust that incorporates the contemporary theories of our time. Today, I will touch on one of the more profound surprises I discovered. While most leaders know that saying what you mean, doing what your saying, and demonstrating integrity is critical to building a trusting culture. These are not enough.. and sadly most leaders think they are... in fact the greatest destroyer of trust is to do nothing when a wrong has been committed.

First a little background... Harvard Business Review had an article in 2003 that reported that even the most ethical leaders are sometimes perceived as distrustful. One of the main points of the author was that despite their integrity leaders are often perceived as treating people in an unequal manner. It is only common sense that sometimes leaders must maintain confidentially and employees may have significant differences in needs. It would be easy to say that even though the leader is acting ethically, others will see it different. That is the easy answer.. the truth maybe rooted in a more significant lost of faith in the leader.

Gottman's work on marriage and divorce has shown that how we treat each other is critical. To treat someone with contempt is to destroy the relationship. These same principles translate to work.. the more we show contempt for an employee the less they will trust us. However, Gottman also showed that the more we show respect and treat each other ethically, the more they trust. It can be complex, because the minute minute a leader begins to treat anyone with contempt, it impacts how everyone else sees them as well. We judge others not just how they treat us, but also others.. which took me to the more profound and important lesson. It is not just how they treat us.. or how they treat others.. it is how they treat everything.. especially the environment we work in... Yes, We hold leaders accountable for the environment we work in. If the environment is not ethical, employees expect leaders to fix it the environment. To Right the Wrong so speak. "I'm sorry.. you know I didn't have anything to do with it.. we may just have to live with it..." OUCH.. Can't you just feel the trust being drained out of that relationship.

So what is the lesson? For me, it is that being ethical is not enough. Leaders must have the courage to face down the errors of others, even their supervisors and create environments of trust. If your a leader and you want to build trust.. take ownership of the environment and go right the wrongs. Your expected to do this by all that follow you... and if you don't have the courage or you don't have the skill to fix the environment.. then maybe it is time to move on to a some place where you can...

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009 (With Lyrics)

By now you most likely have heard of her.. Susan Boyle, helps all of us learn several leadership lessons while also bringing most of us to tear eyes... You can watch her performance here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Lesson 1 - Follow your passion. Nothing is stronger than passion.. it gives you strength and courage.. It helps you face down even a Simon...

Lesson 2 - Be transparent.. be yourself! Amazingly, after just 7 minutes of watching her, we know her.. and most of us would trust that what she says she means..

Lesson 3 - You are never too old... Start now! Even a 47 year old Susan Boyle can find her dream, a dream she started at when she was only 12.

Lesson 4 -Through living your dream.. you inspire others...

Harvard has an excellent "Working Knowledge" article on Mile Davis and innovation. It is an interview with HBS professor Robert D. Austin and Carl Størmer, founding principal of JazzCode, a consulting and entertainment firm specializing in improvisational collaboration and communication in high-performance teams. They do a great job of showing Davis as a master of innovation. It is full of leadership nuggets.. here is just one..

I think the experience in Paris where he composed and recorded a film score for director Louis Malle (for Elevator to the Gallows, 1958) in a single night was important. There he might have realized that simplicity was one way to create great music in a very short time. Maybe he realized that this recipe could be improved further: get good songs, simplify them as much as possible, get the best players in the world, and force them to listen to the music by not telling them what to do.

I am sure you will enjoy this regardless of whether you even know whoDavis was... and you might even learn a bit about music that will make you want to download some itunes.... Check it out

What Makes Unethical Behavior Contagious?

More evidence of the impact we have on our "circle of friends" or our team... Ethics has never been more important than today!

The Context of Our Character

Interesting clip on ethics. Lot of truth here....

Eric Schmidt at the Management Lab Summit

I prefer videos to be shorter than 5 minutes.. but this one is worth the time.. Take time to listen to the wisdom that has made Google one of the best places to work in the world....

MIT Milestone Celebration | Keynote Address

The power of the individual.... The leveling of the world.. A must view!

The Effect of Expectations

Noted psychologist Frankl wrote of how individuals who had some expectation to serve after the war survived the concentration camps much better. Frankl's own example of his own desire to teach graduate courses in psychology and to capture the human response to the horror of the concentration camps is a living example of how man can mentally overcome anything. Here is a short video that shows a modern example of how the role of expectations plays out in real life. Ask yourself the question: Am I expecting something good to happen.... ? Maybe you should!